subliminal.

by dreadloc

i started singing lullabies to my daughter when she was 3 years, 3 months old and I decided to wean her from breastfeeding to sleep.  That would make November ’13 the start of my singing to her.  I sang two songs, and now that i look back i must have known something.  I sang a sad song of loss and heartbreak, You are my sunshine.  I sang a song of hope for happiness, Three little birds.  The sad song, i loved it because it was beautiful and i cried every time i sang it.   he didn’t know, i would come out of my sleeping baby’s room with dry eyes but i cried, i cried nearly every night.  he started the affair in November.  i must have known something was wrong, my heart must have known something was amiss.  it was breaking before it realized it.  I felt it crumbling but i never thought he would actually break it.  I just tried singing this to my daughter tonight since she asked for her sunshine song and i couldn’t get past the second verse without her sitting up to hug me and telling me to wipe my tears away.

You Are My Sunshine
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You’ll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don’t take my sunshine away

The other night, dear,
As I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms.
When I awoke, dear,
I was mistaken
And I hung my head and cried.

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You’ll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don’t take my sunshine away.

I’ll always love you
And make you happy
If you will only say the same
But if you leave me
To love another
You’ll regret it all some day;

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You’ll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don’t take my sunshine away.

You told me once, dear
You really loved me
And no one else could come between
But now you’ve left me
And love another
You have shattered all my dreams;

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You’ll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don’t take my sunshine away.

This is exactly how i feel.

My sunshine is gone.